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Sex
There's no getting away from it, sex is an important part of life. You may get lots of conflicting information, and you may feel confused or nervous about asking for advice. And you may be worried that services won't be confidential, especially if you are under 16.
Whether or not you choose to have sex, it is important that it is your choice. There are lots of things you need to think about, which can be difficult in the heat of the moment. So it is best to be prepared beforehand.
Ready or not?
You may be ready for sex when you can tick all of these boxes:
| |  | you feel you could say no if you wanted to, but still want to do it | | | | you can have fun together without having sex | | | | you want it for yourself, not for the other person or to fit in with friends | | | | you're not being pushed or bribed into having sex | | | | you have agreed to use condoms and contraception and know why they are important | | | | you've both agreed whether or not to tell your friends afterwards | | | | you may be excited and nervous, but not afraid |
But remember, even if you are ready, it still doesn't mean you have to. It’s all about what you want!
Contraception and protection
The number of teenage pregnancies in the UK is high compared to western Europe.
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are also on the increase, especially amongst young people.
You can protect yourself by using contraception, which you can get for free. Condoms and femidoms are the only form of contraception that can help protect against STIs.
  
There are a number of services that can help, even if you are under 16. They can give you advice on sexual health and provide free condoms and they are confidential. Services in Somerset include:
| | | Contraceptive and Sexual Health Service (C&SH). Some clinics are specifically for young people, others are for all ages but can be used by young people. For your nearest sexual health clinic see CASH - Free Contraception & Sexual Health Services in Somerset
| | | | young people's health clinics. These are held in youth centres, schools, colleges, GP surgeries and contraceptive and sexual health clinics. Services are friendly, confidential and non-judgemental (and sometimes have youth workers in attendance who can offer extra advice). Clinics are for both young men and young women. Most cover a range of health issues (but some concentrate on sexual health). You do not need to make an appointment, nor does it matter if you are under 16. To find your local clinic see CASH - Free Contraception & Sexual Health Services in Somerset or pick up a copy of the Sex Directory from your local Connexions centre
| | | | C Card. This aims to promote condom use and safer sex in young people, especially young men, by providing free condoms and sexual health information. Look out for the C Card sign. More at www.somersetc-card.org.uk (including details of participating organisations) |
| | | GP surgeries: some run sexual health clinics and you can visit your GP about sexual health at any time (or you can ask to see a GP at another surgery if you prefer)
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Most of these services have the Respect Award which is awarded according to the service they offer young people with regards to confidentiality, trust, friendliness of staff and suitability of information.
The only time they may break confidentiality is if you, or someone else, is at risk of significant harm (and they would discuss this with you first). If you are still worried about confidentiality then you can ask a service to explain their confidentiality policy first.
Sexual health services are for young women and young men.
Emergency contraception
If you have had unprotected sex and don't want to become pregnant then you need to see someone about emergency contraception.
If you've had unsafe sex you also need to ask for advice about sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Advice is free and it could stop you getting pregnant. You must act quickly – the sooner the better!. You have:
| | | 72 hours (3 days) to take emergency contraceptive pills | | | | 5 days to have a coil fitted
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Emergency contraception is available from:
| | | contraceptive and sexual health clinics | | | | young people’s health clinics | | | | GP surgeries (ask for an emergency appointment; you do not have to say what it's for) |
These services can also check whether you have caught a STI and can offer you the necessary treatment.
Some pharmacists are able to provide free emergency contraception pills if you are entitled to free prescriptions (or otherwise charge a prescription rate).
Family Planning Association www.fpa.org.uk offers advice and information on sexual health and contraception. Helpline: 0845 3101334
Unprotected sex
If you've forgotten to take your pill, or have had sex without a condom, then you need to seek advice as soon as possible.
Don't think that you'll get lucky and that you'll be okay.You could have caught an STI or may be pregnant. Be brave and take control of the situation.
Ask for an emergency appointment at one of these places:
| | | a contraceptive and sexual health clinic | | | | a young people's health clinic | | | | a GP’s surgery
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Staff at the clinic won't make any judgement about you - the important thing is you sort yourself out – but they will:
| | | ask you questions about when your last period was (try to remember to take that information with you) | | | | do a pregnancy test | | | | possibly give you emergency contraception | | | | maybe do a test for Chlamydia | | | | refer you to the to GUM clinic if they feel you are at risk of catching other STIs
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It pays to think about the risks you may be taking with your sexual health. Think also about your methods of contraception. Is the pill the best method for you? Maybe an implant would work better? Are you using condoms properly?
Protecting yourself
Unprotected sex is unsafe sex. It takes place when you have sexual contact with someone without using the protection of contraception and a condom. It doesn't just mean full sexual intercourse. Touching each other's genital area and oral sex can also spread sexually transmitted infections.
Using a long-acting contraceptive and a condom are the best ways to protect yourself against unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.
Condoms and Femidoms are the only form of contraception that can help protect against STIs.
Even if you know the reasons for using contraception and condoms, and if you intend to use them, there can still be times when you don't take the precaution. Taking such risks with your sexual health is a serious matter and can have long-term consequences for your life.
TRUE OR FALSE?
Have a look at these five statements. Have they have ever crossed your mind? Can you give the right answer?
1. I don't use condoms because they burst too easily.
False. Condoms rarely burst when used correctly. However using an oil based lubricant, such as Vaseline, will damage the latex as can long nails and forgetting to squeeze out the air in the tip of the condom before putting it on. Used correctly they are the best form of protection against sexually transmitted infections. You can also get condoms for women to use. Ask at your clinic for more information.
2. Forgetting to take a contraceptive pill doesn't matter.
False. Missing a pill because you have forgotten can put you at risk of an unplanned pregnancy. So can having sickness or diarrhoea after taking your pill. Even if you forget one pill, seek advice from your clinic and make sure you use condoms for the rest of that cycle (as they will protect you against pregnancy as well as sexually transmitted infections). If you regularly forget to take the pill ask about long-acting contraception such as an implant or injection.
3. Using alcohol or drugs stops me caring about using a condom.
True. It's well known that even if you mean to use a condom, the influence of alcohol or drugs can change that in the heat of the moment. Be prepared for this. Think ahead and make sure you carry some condoms with you. If you can, discuss using them with your partner before you consider having sex - and remember sex isn't everything! It’s okay to say ”no” to having sex if you are unhappy about it in any way.
4. I often don't want to have sex but feel I should because everyone else is doing it.
False. Many young people have good friendships and relationships without having sex. Having sexual contact with someone should be a positive choice you make and can be a very pleasurable experience. If it isn't like this for you, speak to a member of staff at a sexual health clinic or someone else you trust. Also see the Ready or Not? section of this page.
5. Anal sex is safe because you can't get pregnant?
False. Although you are less likely to get pregnant, anal sex without a condom is an extremely high risk sexual activity that puts you at risk of many sexually transmitted infections (including HIV).
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
There are many infections that can be passed from person to person through sexual activity. HIV is the most serious but there are many others and they can do a lot of damage.
The number of people, especially young people, with infections is increasing rapidly. Infections such as Chlamydia do not always have symptoms, but if left untreated can lead to long-term health problems including infertility. STIs affect both men and women, so regular checkups at a clinic are a good idea.
Remember - You can catch an STI the first time you have sex with someone!
Symptoms caused by STIs include soreness or discharge from your genital area. Most STIs can be treated easily if caught in time. The tests and treatments for might seem embarrassing but staff who do this work are good at putting people at their ease.
If you think you may have a sexually transmitted infection you should get it checked out. GUM (Genito-Urinary Medicine) clinics specialise in STIs (including HIV) and you can also get help from contraceptive and sexual health clinics, young people’s health clinics and your GP.
CHLAMYDIA
Chlamydia is the most common STI in people aged under 25. If you’re having unsafe sex your chances of becoming infected are high. Around 10% of sexually active young people have the disease and most don’t know as they have no symptoms. One third of infected women are likely to have a problem becoming pregnant in future whilst men can have their fertility damaged.
The only way to know if you have it is to take a simple screen. If you do screen positive, it’s very easy and quick to treat.
Somerset Primary Care Trust offers DIY screening for chlamydia. You can ask for a screening kit at:
| | | minor injury units in a community hospitals | | | | contraceptive clinics | | | | GP surgeries
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For more go to www.somersetpct.nhs.uk/chlamydia (where you can also order a screening kit online)
FURTHER INFORMATION ABOUT SEXUAL HEALTH:
AVERT www.avert.org.uk information and advice on AIDS and HIV
Sexual Health Information Helpline 0800 567123
Positive Action South West www.pasw.org.uk advice on HIV and sexual health. Also counselling, advocacy, support and complementary therapies to anyone living with HIV and AIDS in Somerset. Call 0800 328 3508
Sexuality
Not everyone is heterosexual. Some people are attracted to people of the same sex some, or all, of the time. Being gay is accepted more now than in the past. If you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or are unsure of your sexuality, you may want to find support from a helpline, local group or other service.
Coming out, sharing your sexuality with those around you, friends, family or workmates can be tricky. Remember that:
| | | it can be easier if you have support | | | | hearing about other people's experiences of coming out may be really useful | | | | you need courage and should take your time | | | | it may be difficult but it can also be a very positive and empowering experience
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Whether you need advice and support - or you are out, proud, loving it and want to find somewhere to go in your area – these organisations will help and be able to connect you with the gay community and the Somerset scene:
Somerset Gay Health www.somersetgayhealth.com: information, support and advice for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender young people, or anyone unsure of their sexuality. Free condoms and lube, counselling, befriending and youth groups. Call: 01823 327076
2BU www.2bu-somerset.co.uk local youth groups for young people in Somerset who are gay or unsure of their sexuality.
Somerset Gay & Lesbian Switchboard: call 01823 327078
Bristol Gay & Lesbian Switchboard 0117 922 1328 (8pm-10pm Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday)
For more general information see Stonewall www.stonewall.org.uk, Like It Is www.likeitis.org.uk and London Gay & Lesbian Switchboard www.llgs.org.uk (helpline: 020 7837 7324).
More information about sex
The following sites provide information on sexual health, relationships, support and rights:
Teenage Health Freak www.teenagehealthfreak.org
Need 2 Know www.need2know.co.uk
Like It Is www.likeitis.org.uk
R U Thinking? www.ruthinking.co.uk
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