 |
 |
All Mixed Up
How you feel influences your behaviour and affects how you manage and plan your life. For example, feeling under stress at school can affect how you study. Being bullied at work may stop you doing your job as well as you could.
There could be many reasons why you feel or behave the way you do. This section has advice and information on:
| |  | emotions | | |  | bullying (and cyber bullying) | | |  | stress | | |  | self-harm | | |  | eating disorders | | |  | depression | | |  | suicidal thoughts | | |  | keeping a healthy mind |
Information, advice and support about all of these, and other, issues is available from:
Connexions Direct www.connexions-direct.com – 080 800 13-2-19 (or text: 077664 13-2-19) Childline www.childline.org.uk – help line: 0800 1111 Samaritans www.samaritans.org.uk - call 08457 9090 90 There4me www.there4me.com
Emotions Everyone feels down from time to time. Living with your emotions can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster ride.
When this happens it's important to seek help. It can be easier to see things more clearly with support and guidance. You may be worried that your difficulties are too serious to tell someone else about – or you may feel your worries are too small to get help.
Don’t worry either way. Should you feel unable to talk to your family or a teacher, there may be others who can help. These include Connexions personal advisers, youth workers and staff at young people’s clinics and drop-in centres (see Your Town/Area for addresses).
Bullying
Bullying can take place at school, college, work or at home. Bullying can make you so frightened that you pretend to be ill to avoid being bullied.
Bullying includes:
| |  | people calling you names | | |  | making things up to get you into trouble | | |  | hitting, pinching, biting, pushing and shoving | | |  | taking things from you | | |  | damaging your belongings | | |  | stealing your money | | |  | taking your friends from you | | |  | spreading rumours | | |  | threats and intimidation | | |  | making silent or abusive phone calls | | |  | sending you threatening texts | | |  | posting insulting messages on a website forum or message board |
You don’t have to accept bullying. Although some young people try to accept bullying as a way of life, and try to carry on, ignoring it doesn’t always work.
What you can do
If you want to beat the bullies some of the best things to try are:
| |  | telling someone you trust. What about a teacher, parent, carer or friend? | | |  | trying to ignore the person bullying you | | |  | trying to stay in a group and avoid going places by yourself. That way you are not such an easy target | | |  | making sure your body language is confident (and standing tall!) | | |  | keeping a diary of what happens. Who was involved? When did it happen? What did they do? | | |  | asking your school about its bullying policy
|
Advice about bullying
Bullying UK www.bullying.co.uk - advice and tips about being bullied. Don’t Suffer in Silence www.dfes.gov.uk/bullying - advice about bullying from the government Kidscape www.kidscape.org.uk - charity dedicated to preventing bullying and child sexual abuse Trouble at Work www.troubleatwork.org.uk – covers bullying at work
Cyber bullying
Cyber bullying is when someone aims to threaten, tease or embarrass somebody else by using a mobile phone, the internet or another from of technology.
This includes:
| |  | email | | |  | instant messengers and chatrooms
| | |  | social networking sites | | |  | mobile phones | | |  | interactive gaming (by abusing, threatening players and locking out of games)
| | |  | sending viruses | | |  | abusing personal information (posting photos, emails and blogs without permission)
|
Although cyber bullying cannot physically hurt you, it can still leave you leave you feeling vulnerable and very upset. You can also feel scared, lonely and stressed and that there’s no way out.
Stress
Everyone feels "stressed out" at times. Often this is caused by:
| |  | problems with families, friends, girl and boy friends
| | |  | difficult situations at school, college or work
|
Three of the most stressful things for young people are:
| |  | exams (see STUDYING & REVISION) | | |  | money (see MONEY) | | |  | friends (see RELATIONSHIPS) |
Here are some things you can do to beat stress:
| |  | take time out to listen to some of your favourite music (and do nothing else!) | | |  | exercise (helps both to de-stress and keep you fit) | | |  | walk or cycle rather than catch a bus | | |  | go and see your mates (rather than phoning them) | | |  | learn a new skill or sport | | |  | talk to someone you trust |
If you feel you are getting stressed and unable to cope, and you don’t feel able to talk to your family or a teacher, there are other people you can talk to such as a Connexions personal adviser or youth worker.
Self-harm
Self- harm describes a range of things that people do to themselves which causes direct and immediate harm to the body. This includes:
| |  | repeated cutting of the skin, usually on the arms | | |  | burning | | |  | scalding | | |  | scratching | | |  | swallowing or inserting harmful objects | | |  | self-poisoning |
Young People and Self Harm www.selfharm.org.uk - a good source of advice about self-harm.
Eating disorders
Worries about eating are increasing among young people. It can be a lonely and worrying experience.
There are several different types of eating disorder including:
| |  | anorexia nervosa | | |  | bulimia nervosa | | |  | compulsive (or binge) eating |
Some people might experience symptoms of more than one of these disorders. There are also other varieties which you may hear referred to as EDNOS (Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified).
Somerset and Wessex Eating Disorders Association www.swedauk.org – has lots of useful information on its web site. The association also runs a helpline on 01458 448600 Beating Eating Disorders (BEAT) www.b-eat.co.uk – information and advice about eating disorders. Helpline for young people: 0845 634 7650
Depression
We all get down at one time or another. It could be because of a break-up or the loss of someone you love. You may feel sad, fed up and helpless but people react in different ways.
It’s normal to feel stressed, anxious, lonely or that no-one understands us. For most young people these feelings come and go. But, if this goes on for a long time, it can stop you getting on with your life.
Depression can be caused by:
| |  | someone close to you being ill or dying | | |  | worrying about how you look | | |  | feeling guilty or responsible for someone else's behaviour | | |  | worrying about your sexuality | | |  | feeling left out or not being part of a group | | |  | moving or leaving home | | |  | feeling useless and worthless | | |  | arguing with friends or family | | |  | having a parent or carer who is depressed or worried about other things | | |  | changes in your family or becoming part of a new family | | |  | thinking things will never get better | | |  | having trouble with your boyfriend, girlfriend or a close friend | | |  | worrying about exams or getting disappointing results | | |  | being bullied at school or elsewhere | | |  | someone close moving away | | |  | feeling you have no-one to talk to or that no-one understands you | | |  | you being abused |
You maybe depressed if you are:
| |  | feeling life is not worth living | | |  | worrying about things | | |  | feeling lazy or bored and often tired | | |  | not wanting to go out | | |  | lying or making up stories | | |  | crying a lot | | |  | eating a lot more or a lot less than usual | | |  | moody, irritable or snappy | | |  | having trouble sleeping or having bad dreams | | |  | feeling like harming yourself | | |  | stealing things or getting into trouble | | |  | feeling no-one likes you or people are talking behind your back | | |  | not concentrating on your work | | |  | daydreaming |
Ways to help yourself
When you are depressed it’s important to find a way to cope. You might find it good to:.
| |  | make a tape of your favourite music | | |  | do some drawing or painting | | |  | write things down in a diary | | |  | write a poem or song | | |  | listen to some music | | |  | watch something you enjoy on TV | | |  | get outside in the fresh air | | |  | try a sport, something like dancing or just go for a walk | | |  | eat regularly and as healthily as you can | Talking to someone you like and trust might also help. They may be able to bring along somebody else or phone someone for advice if you don’t want to do it yourself.
Samaritans www.samaritans.org – can offer support 24 hours a day if you find yourself feeling very depressed or suicidal. Call 0845 790 9090.
Suicidal thoughts Lots of young people feel suicidal at some point. Suicidal thoughts can come into your head for no reason at all. This can be frightening and sometimes happens because certain chemicals in your brain are not working properly. This causes you to feel very low and depressed.
You may be feeling suicidal because something has happened to you such as:
| |  | splitting up with someone | | |  | being bullied | | |  | feeling ashamed of something you have done | | |  | feeling ashamed of something that was not your fault | | |  | someone close to you has died | | |  | not getting the exam results you wanted | | |  | feeling confused about your sexuality | | |  | feeling you can’t live up to other people’s expectations | | |  | problems at home | | |  | someone close to you has attempted or actually committed suicide | | |  | you have been using drugs or drinking heavily |
Just like physical illness, emotional health problems can vary from mild to serious. Anxiety and depression are very common and both can be successfully treated. But depression can kill if suicidal thoughts get the better of you.
What kind of person feels suicidal?
Many young people who think about taking their own lives...
| |  | are very sensitive to failure or criticism | | |  | set themselves targets which are difficult to achieve | | |  | cannot cope well with disappointment | | |  | find it difficult to admit to having problems | | |  | find it hard to tell others how they are feeling |
So what can you do?
Tell someone you trust what you are feeling. If you find it difficult to talk you could write it down and send a letter, email or text s. You should also consider getting help with the problems which may be causing your depression.
And remember the Samaritans www.samaritans.org can offer support 24 hours a day if you find yourself feeling very depressed or suicidal. Call 0845 790 9090.
Keeping a healthy mind
Most of us, at some time, will experience some type of psychological problem. And if anyone asks how we are, we usually say we are fine. It's easier to say that and means no one has to deal with any embarrassing emotional stuff.
Research shows that mental illnesses affect 1 in 4 of us at some point in our lives. Mental illnesses include:
| |  | depression | | |  | Schizophrenia | | |  | anxiety | | |  | obsessions | | |  | phobias |
There are many misconceptions about mental illness and much ignorance. If you do have a problem, it's probably better to talk about it rather than bottling it up.
Psychosis is a general term for mental health problems that can make someone lose contact with reality. It can seriously effect how someone thinks, feels and behaves.
Help and advice about mental illness
Sane Line www.sane.org.uk - information and support to anyone suffering from mental health problems. Helpline: 0845 767 8000 Rethink www.rethink.org - provides help on dealing with severe mental illness. Helpline: 020 8974 6814 Young Minds www.youngminds.org.uk – charity working to improve the mental health of children and young people Papyrus www.papyrus-uk.org – works to prevent young suicide and promote emotional wellbeing For Mental Health www.fmhsussex.co.uk - information on mental health for young men. Mind www.mind.org.uk - information and support for anyone who is experiencing mental or emotional distress. Helpline: 0845 766 01643 Mindline Somerset www.mindtws.org.uk - helpline 01823 276892 MDF: The BiPolar Organisation www.mdf.org.uk – support for bipolar manic depression)sufferers. Helpline: 08456 340 540 Maze Advocacy www.mazeadvocacy.net - advocacy for young people in emotional or mental distress. Helpline: 0800 970 9883 (or text 07806 444 353)
|
|
|